Back from Homeland (IV) – EICTV

Posted: October 18, 2012 by jennroig in Articles, Chronicles, English, Miscellaneous, Travels
Tags: , , ,

EICTV stands for “Escuela Internacional de Cine y Televisión”. But everybody really knows it as “San Antonio”. I lived there for 3 years, between 2006 and 2009.

What I did there was to study scriptwriting. I mean, that was the excuse, because I know now there were plenty of things going on there way more important. I graduated on July, 2009, and on August, 2009, I was arriving to Copenhagen to start a Masters in Journalism. Believe me guys, you never know where you’ll end up next day.

I wanted to return this time, it was one of my priorities but somehow, it all turned out in a way that I could only manage to go to San Antonio when I almost had to leave again. It was weird day, good, joyful, sad, all at a time.

When I was a student living there, I saw many alumni coming back, for so many reasons, random reasons, sometimes deep reasons, sometimes meaningless reasons. I heard from them they were having a hard time adjusting to their own places after returning, and maybe that’s why they felt compelled to come back once and again. I promised to myself I wouldn’t do that. I’m a firm believer you must move always forward. So I thought I was lucky enough as to be able to go some place else after finishing school, so I didn’t need to adjust to my old environment but I’d get to adapt to a new one. And it actually had some sense, because adaptation is a challenge and it can keep us busy. But adaptation stops at a point, everybody must stop at a point, for a while, and then it hit me. Saudade, longing, nostalgia.

And then I was back in San Antonio. And I was happy to wave hands and spread kisses all around, feeling great that people still remembered me. It is difficult to explain, but if someone remembers you, it’s like a proof you exist, you’re not invisible or transparent, and after a long time meeting always new people, that feeling, the feeling of being with someone from your past who recognizes you and remembers you, comes like a relief.

I sat on the “rapidito”, that sort of cafeteria or bar where you must struggle for a coffee and beers come easily. But this time I was both the insider and the outsider. I was the returning alumna. I could see the school’s activity from the outside, at all levels, a view I never had before because I was minding my own business. It was cool, because I felt wise.

I was lucky some old friends, really close and familiar faces were there to be with me, to make the day easier and softer. I could distract myself talking to them, catching up about whatever we’ve been doing for three years, from the idea of climbing the stairs and knocking on the door of my room. I wanted badly to go there and see how my room looked like, but I didn’t. What stopped me was the fear of finding everything changed, of not finding my graffiti on the walls, or finding way too many graffiti, and ending up with a broken memory that would turned me into an exiled. I’ve said to some people that I had only felt once I belong to a place and that place was, still is, the EICTV in San Antonio. I would gladly adopt the “eicetevian” nationality if that ever was an option.

I suppose I was resisting change, because I still need those strings attached to me, to keep myself able to go back to a place where I can recognize myself and then from there, start building whoever I am all over again. I told this to some guy later, when I was out of San Antonio, and that person felt sorry for me. I’m not sorry for me, though. I’m happy and feel lucky I have that.

Those friends, old faces, made also bearable that feeling of waiting to see the missing friends to show up, other familiar faces, a very special dear face and voice, stamping out of a corner in our direction. Those faces, that face, never appeared. I guess we heard so many times EICTV is a magic place that I ended up believing magic was possible.

I wanted to say hello to everyone and I missed one or two. I hope to go back, next time with the will to climb the stairs and knock on the door of my room without the fear of feeling I’m cutting my strings loose.

  1. Noemí says:

    Very well,

  2. xenia rivery says:

    mija, en inglés, de verdá?????

  3. Hola Jenny…. super bueno el post. GRACIAS y que bueno el INGLÉS 🙂 muchos besos desde Panamá

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