In my 30’s and Single

Posted: December 11, 2013 by jennroig in Commentary, English, Reviews
Tags: , , ,
Frida Kahlo: Henry Ford Hospital

Frida Kahlo: Henry Ford Hospital

I’m 31, very soon 32, and single.

Moreover, I have no rush in buying a house, or a car, or permanently tie myself to someone, or even worse, having a child. According to what I learned, this doesn’t match to what being a woman was supposed to be. It actually looks like exactly the opposite. Am I some kind of distorted or traumatized creature?

I don’t know. Maybe. What I do know it’s that I’m not alone in this. Year after year, as I turn older, I find more articles, blog posts or audiovisual where people are talking about the same issue. They are hitting the third decade of their lives and finding themselves without any serious prospect for marriage, or the life-lasting-job, or the dream family house in the suburbs, or the two or three kids that were suppose to complete a healthy family.

The most recent example is this short documentary by an Argetinian filmmaker published on NYT website that I have just finished watching. I strongly recommend it. It is a real woman sharing outloud the thread of her thoughts, the way she sees herself, the way she’s breaking a pattern and how she’s finding a way to be happy in her own terms.

There’s even a name for people like this Argentinian woman and myself. We are suppose to be the so-called Peter Pan generation. A generation that entered the 20th and kept behaving like teens, which older segment is now hitting the 30’s and still resists to settle down and grow some roots. She gives some key arguments: happiness is a choice, a great satisfaction comes from understanding and accepting yourself, no need to compete or follow anyone’s standards, the great-eternal-passionate love that she wanted in her 20’s isn’t a goal anymore.

Then, from time to time, I ask myself what exactly is to be an adult? What are those great differences between a grown up and myself?

Times change. It can’t be that the same concept of adulthood applies to both my mom and I. Values change, 50 years ago it was common to think that babies were God’s blessings so Providence will provide for them, today anyone with a basic commonsense knows that it takes a lot of economic, intellectual and emotional resources to raise a kind, responsible, socially fit human being. Societies and ideas change. Previous generations of women didn’t have the same opportunities as women from my generation to build a path and rule over their lives.

In the middle of all the uncertainty, of all the unanswered questions that are the mark of these days, it is impossible to say what’s the archetypical description of a grown up woman today. Definitions are being shaped. And as far as I can see, this is a time for eclectic thinking.

  1. Tamara says:

    Great post! The only certainty of my adulthood is that I need to finish rasing myself first.

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